The streets and the malls are now bustling with people frantically doing their Christmas shopping – everyone is focusing on giving in hopes of receiving. Personally, I have done most of my Christmas shopping (for self – of course, and also others) in November. The point of this post is not to rub this fact in but to explore the acts of giving and receiving.
Strangely, I find the act of receiving to be much more challenging than the act of giving. This deviation from the norm led me to many pondering moments in search for an explanation. When I give, I give without expecting anything in return – I give in hopes of bringing a brief moment of joy to the receiver as well as to myself. Therefore, giving is easy – my job is done once the gift has been received. However, receiving often makes me uneasy (especially from people other than my parents) – it brings suspicions to mind (what are the motives and expectations of the giver behind the gift). I often feel the need to return the favour – i.e. the job doesn’t end at receiving. One spiritual explanation may perhaps be that I do not feel as if I fully deserve such gift – but selfishly, I, in turn, deny the giver of the pleasure of giving. I am aware of my shortcomings when it comes to receiving but I am making a conscious effort to open myself up to receive everything good that is to come to me (and to do so with style and grace).
p.s. By Christmas day, I should be ready. So dear Mr. Santa, what will you bring to me for being a very good girl this year?
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